I’ve always struggled to define what home means to me. Born to a Jordanian Brit and a Lebanese Iranian who eloped in Ohio, I’m an American citizen by birth who spent her early years in Miami. After 9-11, my family moved to Lebanon, where I enrolled in a French-Arabic school but continued to practice my English through books and TV shows. During the 2006 Lebanese Israeli war, my family fled to Jordan and then settled in the UAE. I completed middle school in Dubai and high school in Abu Dhabi, before making my way back to the US to study neuroscience in Providence, Rhode Island. After college, I moved to New York City, where I lived for five years, the longest I had ever lived in one city. I met my partner, cultivated friendships, and finished medical school with a 100% certain plan to continue my journey in New York, a place that felt safe and comfortable.
When I received my MGH/McLean interview invitation, I was ecstatic (duh, it’s Harvard) but had my reservations. I was extremely hesitant to even entertain the idea of moving to a new place, and I was terrified of the rigor of the program (this was informed by the excessive time spent stalking that awful unofficial Reddit spreadsheet of all programs… side note: spare yourself).
On the day of my interview, I dressed in my suit waist-up/comfy pajamas waist-down combo and started my interview day in my routine usual way. Except, this one felt extremely unusual. From the very start, I felt welcomed, engaged, challenged, appreciated, and SEEN. I felt the magic of the program and the people who make it up, even from so far away. I finished the day with excitement and trepidation, realizing that I was unequivocally drawn to the program. My ten year plan of staying in the comforts of my new home felt a little less appealing, and I knew I wanted something more.
Later that night, I recorded my impressions video, as I did after every single interview on the trail. This was the script verbatim:
Just recording my post MGH thoughts. Where do I start? I think it’s an excellent program – literally in every sense: clinically, research wise, finding your niche wise, individualizing your path, global health program. I love that they have a standalone psych hospital and the MGH med psych combination powerhouse. The residents and faculty were so nice. The classes felt so connected and bonded. I love the blend of psychotherapy and psychopharmacology in the program. I love that there is too much supervision and T groups to discuss your cases with peers. I love hearing how you can learn the world experts in any area of psychiatry. It does seem like there is hard work, especially your first year, but it seems rewarding. Actually yes, everyone gives work hard play hard energy. I love the child and adolescent program. I loved talking to the APD Josh Salvi and hearing about his journey. All my interviewers were so great. An area of improvement people mentioned were better organized didactics. The biggest minus is that I have to move. Love the community feel, love the program. It sounds like people really grow as clinicians which I’m sure happen elsewhere too but it sound like an amazing space for me.
Fast forward many months, I am here and I am so unbelievably certain I made the right choice (this is a rare occurrence for me – I doubt things a lot). I recently had a magnificent evening shift where my attending and I casually discussed my counter phobia (a new psychodynamic concept I learned) over Thai food that he ordered for us. I reflected back on my fear of moving once again and my ultimate decision to seek that experience out. The rewards have been many. In this short time, I feel so supported by my co-residents who are funny, smart, hardworking, wild, and loving (the list goes on). They come from all corners of the state and the world, bringing diverse experiences and perspectives to all our discussions. I am struck by how easy going, informal and casual the absurdly smart and prestigious teaching faculty I get to learn from every day (this makes a huge different don’t discount this on your search for a program). I am moved by the huge efforts the program directors make to show that they care and that they listen too often and too regularly. I am inspired by the nurses, mental health specialists and social workers’ commitment to our shared patients. I love the patients I work with and how they are active team members in making their treatment plan. Some days are easy breezy long lunches at McLean and leisurely strolls in nature while on call. Other days are harder, jumping from task to task on Blake 11, getting inundated by pages, and difficult family meetings that get very emotional. But, all days so far have felt extremely meaningful and important in my development as a person and psychiatrist. I find myself looking forward to the work week on the weekends I Amtrak back from the city. If you are not afraid to understand yourself better and put in the work to grow … MGH McLean is for you !!! Thank you for welcoming me with open arms and making it feel like a place I can grow to call home.
P.S. Boston is such a great city: she’s demure, respectful, and mindful.
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